


all we are is all i am

by notthebigspoon



Series: Amaryllis [55]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-07
Updated: 2012-11-07
Packaged: 2017-11-18 03:39:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot of them don't know where they're going to be come spring. They all want to stay but they also want the best deal that they can get. And that's fair enough. You can and do get attached for your team and you hate to leave them behind, especially after a year like this, after a team like this. But in the end, business is business, no matter how much you want a place to call home.</p><p>Title taken from Miracle by Shinedown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all we are is all i am

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by and written for sunsetfog. Thanks so much for reading honey, you're amazing! <3

A lot of them don't know where they're going to be come spring. They all want to stay but they also want the best deal that they can get. And that's fair enough. You can and do get attached for your team and you hate to leave them behind, especially after a year like this, after a team like this. But in the end, business is business, no matter how much you want a place to call home.

Hunter is good at compartmentalizing, removing himself from a situation and evaluating it objectively. It makes it easier to deal with the fact that he doesn't know what will happen as far as his career and his relationship with Angel and Gregor goes. He pretends that nothing is going to change and for a few days after the series, that works. He's too happy to be worried about anything.

But then he hears about the Yankees claiming Eli Whiteside off of waivers.

He finds himself sitting and staring at his computer, oblivious to whatever his brother is saying to him. He watches twitter update, sees the jokes about how much the Yankees like Giants catchers. The world is dropping away from around him and it's stupid, so stupid, because he likes Whiteside but he's not all that close to the guy. He feels like he's been hit over the head with a reality stick, a reminder that someone he loves could be thousands of miles away from him for most of the year.

“Hunter, what's with you?” Howard asks, frowning and shaking his head, poking Hunter's shoulder. When he sees the look on Hunter's face, he pauses. “Hey. What's wrong?”

Hunter swallows. “Whiteside is gone. Yankees claimed him.”

“Really? Huh. They must really like Giants catchers.” Howard yawns. Hunter wants to scream. “Didn't know you were that close to the guy. Hey... wait, are you _close_ close to him? I know there's somebody that you're involved with.”

“No. He's married to Jonathan Sanchez. Who is a jealous and scary bastard, by the way. It's just...”

“Just what?”

“That could be anyone. Maybe not off waivers but there's so many guys that could and maybe are going to be somewhere else come next year. There's no way of knowing and realistically, you get know say whatsoever, even if you wish that you did.”

Howard blinks at Hunter. “Didn't realize you wanted to stay that bad. Who else do you want to stay?”

“I do want to stay. It'd be nice to have a home.” Hunter answers miserably, shutting his laptop and staring at his knees. “It doesn't matter. Better to start letting go now than to hang on to a pipe dream and be even more disappointed later.”

“Since when do you give up before anything at all has happened?”

“Since I fell in love with someone hard and fast and only got three months with them before our whole world changed. I'm going to lose both of them. And they won't care. It was only three months. I got too attached too quickly. Never should have kissed them.” Hunter mumbles, climbing to his feet and making a beeline to the liquor cabinet. He pours himself two fingers of whiskey and gulps it down before refilling his glass and returning to the couch. His brother is staring at him.

“Both of them?”

“Yeah. They were already together. Had been for a while. I saw them kissing. They told me I could either join in or leave.” Hunter smiles at the memory. It's a good one. “Hey... how did you know I like guys? I didn't even know until I kissed them.”

“Something was different. Honestly, I was just taking a shot in the dark, see if I could tick you off.” Howard shrugs. “And before you ask, no I don't care. If you're happy, then it's all good. Gotta say though, I'm not sure what to think about that whole menage trois thing you've got going on. Who is it?”

“Blanco and Pagan.”

“Wow. Talk about jumping in at the deep end.”

“I know. Angel Pagan, the Ferrari over boyfriends.”

“And Blanco?”

“Probably an Audi.” Hunter grins, picking at his jeans. “Guess I'm more than a little freaked out. Everything is changing and there's no possible way to know how or when they're going to.”

“So maybe you should enjoy what you have while you have it, instead of wasting your time worrying about what might not even happen.”

“It's only been three days since I've seen them and I already miss them. How sad is that?” Hunter asks, shaking his head. “I keep thinking about going to them.”

“What's stopping you?”

“The fact that I would look like a clingy, codependent moose incapable of surviving without its mates?”

“... moose?”

“It's a long story.”

“Go. Get your crap and get out of my house.”

“Howard-”

“Don't Howard me. Get out of my house.” His brother is grinning and Hunter feels an overwhelming sense of relief and gratitude for his brother. The guy is understanding beyond belief, always backing Hunter up and letting him know everything is going to be okay.

He packs his bags, slowly and making sure he has everything. He might be delaying things out of nerves. He thinks maybe he should call them and warn them that he's coming but he doesn't. He’s so close to changing his mind and just going back to Texas, maybe go bug Castro for a while. He hugs the kids goodbye and gets into Howard's car. He doesn't speak on the ride to the airport, just jiggles his leg and drums his fingers on his knees. He can do this. He always tells other people to just go for what they want, to show no fear. He needs to take his own advice.

At the drop off lane, he hugs his brother and gets out, grabs his bag out of the trunk and heads inside with one last wave to Howard. Inside, he makes a beeline for a ticket counter, leaning against it and telling the clerk that he wants the next flight out to Puerto Rico. He's lucky, gets one that leaves in an hour and a half. He goes through security and grabs something to eat. On impulse, he buys a stuffed shark for Gregor because it makes him laugh. When Angel texts him a picture of himself and Gregor curled up in bed and making pouty faces at the camera, tagged with a text that says they miss him, it makes him feel better about not giving them any warning.

Still, it's hard to shake that feeling of self consciousness and uncertainty. He hunkers down in his seat and puts his headphones on, closes his eyes and tries to relax. They love him. They'd been disappointed when he hadn't wanted to go with them straight off. They sent him pictures of them in bed saying that they missed him. They want him around. He reminds himself of that over and over again until he finally believes it. He's never been an insecure guy except when it comes to them. They're both gorgeous. They could have anyone and they want him.

By the time he lands in Rio Piedras, he's feeling more confident and resolved, more like himself again. He claims his baggage without event, pushes his sunglasses on and makes his way outside. Airports the world over are relatively similar and he finds the pick up lane easily enough. There's a line of taxis waiting and he climbs into the back of the first one that he comes to. Angel and Gregor have been trying to teach him Spanish using sex as positive reinforcement and while he's not great, he manages enough to get around. He tells the driver where he wants to go, reading off the address that Angel had programmed into his phone. The driver nods, pulls out and heads into the city.

The freeway cuts through an urban area. Hunter takes it in but there's not much to see until they take an off ramp that deposits them in a suburban area. Small houses give way to larger ones give way to large, immaculate homes. Some of them are too McMansion for his taste but the one the cab driver stops at is more his style. The driveway circles up into the yard and there's already an SUV and an Avenger parked there. The house is two stories, painted white with bright red shutters that for some reason make Hunter laugh. He pays the driver and climbs out, staring up at the house and taking a deep breath.

He climbs the steps, shifts his bags over to his other shoulder and releases his suitcase to ring the doorbell. He hears it chiming before falling silent. There's almost no noise here, the rustling of the trees and the distant sound of a lawn mower the only noise. He gnaws on his lip, eying the door and considering knocking again. Before he can, he hears footsteps and someone muttering less than complimentary things. Sometimes, his boyfriends can have pretty foul mouths.

Seconds later, he hears the lock being flipped and the door swings open. Angel is shirtless and wearing low slung sweats. His hair is mussed and his cheeks are flushed with color. Hunter takes a minute to enjoy the sight. He wants to lick Angel's abs, bite his hips, drop to his knees and tease Angel until his boyfriend loses all control and fucks Hunter's throat until he's hoarse and rasping every word he says.

He wants to do all of those things but instead he smiles sheepishly. “Surprise?”

Angel appears speechless and Hunter worries for all of five seconds before Angel is grabbing a handful of his shirt and yanking him into a hard kiss. He's mumbling into it, Spanish that's way too fast for Hunter to follow. He understands the gist of it, the 'I love you' and 'I missed you' coming in loud and clear with every touch of his hands and each additional kiss. He pulls back, smiles and laughs as he pulls Hunter and his things inside. Angel steps around him, locks the front door again. He grabs Hunter's hand and squeezes it, kissing Hunter quickly before turning and hauling Hunter up the stairs, shaking his head and laughing.

When they reach the bedroom, the sight Hunter is greeted with takes his breath away and makes his mouth water. Gregor is sprawled in the middle of the biggest bed Hunter has even seen outside a hotel room. He's wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, his dark skin gorgeous against blood red sheets. His cheeks are flushed just like Angel's are and there's a perfectly defined bite mark on his collar bone. When he sees Hunter, his eyes light up and a broad smile overtakes his face. He doesn't say anything, just snaps his fingers and points at Hunter's shirt.

Hunter takes the hint, pulls his t-shirt over his head and drops it before toeing his shoes off. He leans back against Angel for a moment before moving forward and climbing onto the end of the bed. He crawls up the bed and lays between Gregor's legs, kissing him and skimming his hands up Gregor's sides. It goes from a sweet 'I missed you' to 'holy fuck, touch me, kiss me _now_ ' in an instant, their bodies pressed flush and working against each other. Angel is next to them on the bed, pushing his way into the kiss and running his hands over their bodies.

He hooks his fingers into Gregor's shorts, kisses his way down his boyfriend's chest as he pulls the shorts away. He wraps his hand around Gregor's dick, strokes until Gregor is panting before taking him into his mouth. Hunter will admit he's a total tease when it comes to sucking cock, sometimes not giving quite enough, sometimes bringing his boyfriends all the way to the edge before backing off until Gregor is cussing him up down and sideways, promising revenge. Hunter laughs, pulls off and rests his chin on Gregor's thigh, smiling.

“Revenge, huh? How's that? Show me.”

He gets what he's asking for when Gregor pushes him onto his stomach and pulls his jeans down and off. Angel laughs, sits at the head of the bed in front of Hunter and runs his thumb over Hunter's lips, murmuring that Hunter is in for it. Hunter smirks, the expression quickly wiped away when Gregor starts fingering him open. It's too fast, stinging and burning as his body struggles to comply. He loves it, though. He might have been a virgin when it came to guys when he came to the Giants but he's learned very quickly what he does and doesn't like. There's little they've tried on him that he hasn't liked. Rough, hard, dirty and demanding are right up there on his list of favorite things. They've turned him more than a little kinky.

Another of his favorite things is the way that Angel will pull on his hair, fucking Hunter's throat and using the grip to guide Hunter down, forcing more in until Hunter almost gags. Hunter chokes but moans, lowers his head for more. When he feels Gregor's hands on his hips, he rocks back into it, closing his eyes and moaning when Gregor pushes into him. Gregor's hips move in time with Angel's, hard and deep shoves that rock Hunter's body. They're using him, the only adequate way for him to describe it and he loves it when they do. Not just because it feels fucking amazing but also the thrill he gets from knowing that he gets to them that much that they lose control like this.

They're talking to him. They always do, they're both talkers. They also have a tendency to lapse into Spanish whereas they usually use English around him, unless he's ticked them off. He doesn't understand what they're actually saying but he can read between the lines. They want him, love him, missed him, missed this, missed how he looks when he's taking it for them. Gregor says something that he understands a little, about sounding good for them before his hand is curling around Hunter's cock, jerking him off in time with every rough thrust into Hunter's body.

It's like knocking down dominoes, Hunter falling apart first and taking Angel and Gregor down with him. He slouches onto the bed, buries his face in Angel's stomach, closes his eyes and zones out while they clean him and each other up. When Angel moves, Hunter grumbles but stays in the middle of the bed, not bothered enough that he has any desire to move. He smiles drowsily when they press up on either side of his body and he turns over, resting his head on Gregor's chest and pulling Angel's arm around his waist. When Angel pulls a soft and plushy blanket over their bodies, Hunter purrs.

“Missed both of you. And it was only three days.” He mumbles. “If we end up split up...” 

“It will suck but we'll make the best of it.” Angel murmurs, kissing Hunter's shoulder and snuggling closer. He's a cuddly guy. Hunter smiles fondly. “You do not get to break up with us because you are panicking. I do not approve. I'm not having it.”

“What he said, you neurotic fool.” Gregor yawns, petting Hunter's hair.

“I'm not neurotic.”

“You're obsessed with your routines, so much so that you go nuts if you can't follow them and you're always prepared to think that we'll leave when things get tough. You're fine. Fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. Also, you're a nerd.”

“Thanks.”

“It's okay.” Angel yawns. We love you this way. And we're happy that you're here. I finally get to show you _my_ territory. Been wanting to do that. Show you around, let you meet my friends and family. Sleep now, okay? Busy day tomorrow.”

“Who we gonna meet?”

“Anyone I want you to. Might even give you morning sex to help you relax. Now _sleep_.”

Hunter falls asleep smiling, sleeping deep and dreamless. He doesn't have a thing in the world to worry about.


End file.
